taylor

today I sculpted rice krispies and used up two bottles of ketchup

Dammit, my faith in microwaves has been shaken. I was pretty sure they were the greatest thing ever and that they worked by just boiling the water inside the food or something like that. pretty much the same as just cooking it - but allover and really fast. Apparently not, I was bragging to KT about how I "discovered" that regular spaghetti could be made in the microwave and I was expecting at the least feigned disinterest. It was one of those deliberately stupid things that people bring up sometimes to be funny. I was shocked by her disgust. She saw my misuse of the microwave, much as I might frown upon someone who drives their car distances of less than one four blocks. She said, "...microwaving it destroys the nutrients." I replied with, "that's hippie bullshit", and that I would look it up. I did. I guess it's kind of a toss-up as far as the results go. My own conclusions? It is a more different way of cooking than I had thought; and cooking method does affect nutritional value. It may destroy less of some thing than say boiling or frying it would. I think steaming seems the best though. I really don't know how that's done. seems difficult.

I met a guy once, and only in certain spots.

You could see them when he leaned over.

I couldn’t dart quick enough.

When his eyes caught you looking at them, those wells would just tip right over with great big old buckets of tears pouring right out.

He was graciously guttural in level and tone, as he whispered the situation to me.

“When I wash my hair it feels like potatoes, and combines are raining out my fingers.”

Later as sweat drept from my nose, I relayed this detail to the police sketch artist. I could see his anger in the jags of the pencil smearing graphite down the paper’s fibery teeth.

“Yeah, we see that a lot these days,” he said to me, “fucking homeless people, buying up all the real estate in the good will, decades of dinner parties and evening wear strung over these hipster/artists’ crack marrowed bones. They’ll stop right in the middle of the stream of the crosswalk, driftwood eyes staring back at you and just break down and cry.”

“And next thing you know, you’re in here missing a wallet, and I’m missing my son’s little league game to come in here and draw you a picture of some bald guy. Well, fuck off Mr. McGreggor, I’m turning in my badge and my pencil. I’m not working anymore Saturdays for petty theft. I have dreams too you know.”

as green as a lime in a bowl full of tangerines

I'm trying to learn how to make ice sculptures... and I found this book on amazon about it. Well, the review sounds good anyways.

Ice Sculpting the Modern Way

FIVE STARS. Just the book I needed!, December 30, 2004

Reviewer: Bud Gott (New Castle, DE USA) - See all my reviews
I'm not one to brag, but sculpting things out of wood always came very naturally to me. I recently sculpted a wooden statue of Pat Sajak that would knock your socks off. It's so life-like that it's almost scary.

However, with wood comes a lot of splinters. I've got enough problems in my life already without that kind of extra hardship added. That's why I chose to give up wood sculpting and take up ice sculpting instead.

This here book has shown me that I can do it! In virtually no time at all, I've taken what I've learned from this book and created several great ice sculptures. I've had countless hours of fun doing it!

I'm not a total expert yet, but I'm getting there. In fact, I'm making a new ice sculpture right now that I'm bringing to a convention this weekend. It's a convention for Saved By The Bell fans (we call ourselves "saved.") My ice sculpture is going to be of Dustin Diamond, who played Screech on the show.

If it weren't for this book, I'd never have learned what I needed to know about ice sculpting! Now I can make ice sculptings of all my heroes. After Dustin Diamond, I'm going to try my hand at an ice sculpture of actor Gary Coleman. I won't need too much ice. (Ha ha)

I hope everyone enjoys this book as much as I did. Happy sculpting to you all!



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"One final paragraph of advice: Do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am --- a relunctant enthusiast . . . a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half for yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it's still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, encounter the grizz, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breath deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a while and contemplate the precious stillness, that lovely mysterious and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk-bound people with their hearts in a safe deposit box and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this: you will out live the bastards."

Taken from The Earth Speaks by Edward Abby

Fuck being negative all the time. I hear jaded is always in style, and really that's too bad, along with oscar the grouch green right now, which I do like.

Also fuck historicism, The music and art from other times was not better. You are seeing the greatest hits of that time period; in the long view they will be as significant as the best things of this time period. Some changes last longer than others.

I think its much harder to put things out into the world and find solutions. Are you creating or critiquing? This applies to all things that shape culture, I suppose, music, art, film, politics. Jimmy Carter was fucking cool, by the way; it does relate, read more about him.

Also, I think Hornby hits on this in the book/later a movie, High Fidelity. The part where he goes from being a music snob obsessed with imposing his taste, which is good, on the rest of the world to actually producing records.

I don't really feel like talking about this intelligently right now so I'll just put in random quotes that I like. Hornby also wrote About a Boy, which also got made into a movie. See them multiple times, if you haven't yet. I feel like Hornby really understands people, the characters really have deep motivations. I've read the books also and I would recommend the movies if you're like me, I'm not dumb and I like to read, but they're very british culture based, and its easier for me to 'get it' when its translated to more of an am. culture reference in the movie versions. I relate to chicago much better than north london. well, they're some of my favorite films... and (insert cheesy transition)

...It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.

The unhappiest people I know, romantically speaking, are the ones who like pop music the most; and I don't know whether pop music has caused this unhappiness, but I do know that they've been listening to the sad songs longer than they've been living the unhappy lives.

I own this store called Championship Vinyl. Its located in a neighbourhood that attracts the bare minimum of window-shoppers. I get by because of the people who make a special effort to shop here. Mostly young men who spend their time looking for deleted Smiths singles and original (not rereleased, underlined!) Frank Zappa albums.
Fetish properties... are not unlike porn. I'd feel guilty taking their money, if I wasn't... well, kinda one of 'em...

Rob: Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my guts since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.

Rob: This tape I'm making for Laura.... has music she likes. Things that make her happy. And for the first time, I think I'm starting to see how that's done.

more songs with commentary; heroin - the velvet underground. I'll get there in a bit,

I went to a talk given by one of the "rockstar designers" of this decade I suppose, Karim Rashid, I really think he's more of an artist, later I got drunk with him, and he tried to take a female friend of mine back to the hotel with him - dirty bastard. that's another story though.

He was asked something to the effect of, what could design do to combat the monoculture we're creating, with suburbs and mcdonalds at every off ramp what will the world become? He really surprised me, his attitude was basically that all change is good.

They make movies about characters having these existential crisis, and you know I always thought they were kind of funny. kind of funny until you have one of these yourself, then it will probably kick your brain around for a good four or five hours before it gets tired, and runs off to find somebody else to play soccer with. Seriously,

ALL CHANGE IS GOOD?

THAT, is a scary though. What does that lead to? if all change is good then things will happen, will come and go, but honestly none of it really matters. It is impossible for things to stay the same, so really does it matter if you do nothing? or if you stand for nothing, have no principles other than immediate comfort?

Is this true? It could be, I have two examples that really bother me, war and drugs. War creates huge changes, some art/design movements like futurism have really embraced it. What is war? WAR = INTENSE CULTURAL COMPETITION. Look what comes of it, dramatic increases in science and technology. You can insert whatever technology example you'd like here, a man on the moon, etc. there are hundreds of them. But in the end it boils down to need, competition fuels a great need and great needs produce amazing solutions.

Also, look at drugs, how many songs are about drugs? how many creative people have been involved with drugs? Drugs create a powerful need for something, a need that really shakes people to their core, sends them on a wild ride, forces them to find an outlet for the things they are experiencing.

Well don't know how to deal with those two, but when war is good that's really too shitty a world for me, I'll have to disagree; change is sometimes bad, and that nostalgia is a necessity, unless you want to get into an endless existential soccer match.

So nostalgia and the fact that change can be bad, move on the the next round of my little futbol tournament here. next opponent, suburbia. There has to be a way for people to live in affordable housing, eat affordable, quality food, while still retaining a unique regional culture.

Is this important to anyone else yet? Maybe it's my background, but suburbs and the same five godamn gas stations and resteraunts at every exit bothers the shit out of me. Whoever figures out a solution to that one, will be an important figure for this period of our culture.

oh and by the way, fuck you kansas. 104 out of 105 counties approved the ammendment banning gay marriage. The lone hold-out, Douglas, was I'm proud to say. But I voted and I feel like it counted, rock on democracy.

it's springtime, and tradition has it that I try something dumb around this time of year. I'm looking for suggestions.

freshman year - I tried to walk for 24 hours, I took a picture every hour of just whatever seemed most interesting at that randomly determined spot. It turned out pretty cool.

sophomore year - I tried to run 100 miles in 24 hrs with no prior training. I made it 30 miles, pretty good I think, that's a marathon plus four.

junior year - we'll see, I think you can get in the Guiness book for carrying a 10 lb brick in your hand 28 miles, somebody did it for 27, that seems pretty feasible when you're really not into training like me.

I'm pretty sure that, at most, two people read this so if there are more your input is welcome.

!

Infamous Date Rape - Tribe Called Quest,
hot biblical references if I do say so myself. Jericho was this city God said the Israelites had to march around for a week or so blowing trumpets and things and then the walls fell down. They rushed in and killed all the Jerichonians. Meshach, Shadrach and Abendego were these three Israelites in captivity. They refused to bow to a giant statue of the king, so he threw them in a fiery furnace. They didn't die an angel saved them or something, I don't remember exactly.

Uh huh, you know science, you get buckwild
Runnin mad games as if your name was Scott Skiles
Or better yet Magic or even Karl Malone
Regardless who it is, your aim is to bone
If she tries to front, then you start to dis her
If she's with the program, that's when you start to kiss her
Might as well get to the point, no time to waste
Might as well break the ice, then set the pace
You start to talk nasty, now she's ready to bone
Step out of the shower, throw on cologne
All of a sudden, her sugarwalls tumble down like Jericho
She's hotter than Meshach, Shadrach and Abendego
You listen to After 7, break fool after 10
Do your thing at 12 o'clock and when you go again
There goes round 1, ding, there goes round two
Now tell me what the (fuck) are you supposed to do
What do you know, when the meow is completed
Girly girl cried rape, yo, I didn't really need it

spring break
spring break

it's really great

I'm feeling a bit fear and loathing esque, (in big misspelled words) right now, ie the sheer rediculosness of the endavour is just cause enough for its execution

nine songs with commentary, because. I really like music.

1. Al Green - Love and Happiness; honestly this song just fucking rocks. If you can't dance to this; it's not the song.

2. Gladys Night - Midnight Train to Georgia; ..."LA proved to much for the man.." This is my biggest fear in a nutshell. Failure, busted dreams, and living at home.

3. Wilco - We're Just Friends; I've been there.

4. Creedence Clearwater - Long As I can see the Light; another one that just fucking rocks, it's not the lyrics, its the rasp of humanity in the voice, the swagger of the snare drum, ah whatever, I just like it.

5. Beatles - Golden Slumbers; my favorite song by them.

6. Badly Drawn Boy - A Minor Incident; from the About a Boy soundtrack, it really explains the situation well, the scene actually has no dialogue in it, there's just this song to explain his mother's attempted suicide. responsiblity for your own life, depression, and it's not your fault, all rolled into a song.

"There's nothing I could say
To make you try to feel ok
And nothing you could do
To stop me feeling the way I do
And if the chance should happen
That I never see you again
Just remember that I'll always love you"

7. Townes Van Zandt - Cocaine Blues; it's a simple tune, that really works. It's too bad that mp3 files don't wear out like records, because then I could say something like oh I listened to that one so much the record grooves are worn, but they don't so all I can say is that I listen to this one a lot.

8. Jack Johnson - F Stop Blues; uh it's pretty sweet all around. It feels pretty post high-school and I think I'm not bitter enough for it - "look who's laughing now, now that you wasted how many years and you've barely even tasted anything remotely close to everything you boasted about." - eh, maybe it's not so bad after all, part of me likes it. Yep, Jack Johnson in high school, I am a young un.

9. Nick Drake - Don't Think Twice (Dylan cover); his voice and fingerpicked guitar kind of shine through the haze of the Lo-fi recording quality. Dylan wrote it, but I like this version better. It says "goodbye" really well, and I think that's not a bad attitude to borrow once in a while.

the end.for now

Scenes from the last 24 hours.


1. Josh: "Kent all we need to be a happy couple is some lube and a stepladder." (Josh is short -ish, Kent is not).



2. Taylor: "Bob is tanked like an aquarium"



3. Liz: "Look at those dreadlocks. Taylor you should grow dreadlocks."

Taylor: "No, I look goofy enough as it is. I'm trying to keep a low profile"

Unfortunately it is true, the pop culture icons I most closely resemble are Napolean Dynamite and Kramer.

tremolo envelope oscilloscope

What ever happened to the adventure novel?

Jack London? That guy went to Alaska, hung out, and wrote about it, sure it's fiction but the little details feel pretty solid. Rudyard Kipling, he's from India. Into Thin Air, that's about the best I've read from now times.

National geographic - eh, those feel really organized though. I think it is a lot more interesting if it is an individual who just kind of says, "fuck why not go live in Alaska" and does it. I don't think Alaska is that wild anymore but there have to be some places like that still. Antartica? that's pretty remote. I'd read a book written by - not a scientist - but somebody who is maybe.... a mechanic, yeah, one of those dudes who fixes the snow cat things they roll around in in Antartica.

Where is this all coming from? mmm, I been reading about hermits lately. What kinds of people go into hermitage? Well, there are some monks that do it. There was this scientist/filmaker who lived on an island too shitty for anybody else to live there to film crabs. umm. and there was an alcoholic. He became a hermit to stop drinking mostly. this is his journal

http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=2256&dept_id=457701&newsid=13431339&PAG=461&rfi=9>

It's all a game, but knowing so doesn't make it any easier to play.

If you ever find yourself lost or scared in the woods, just think to yourself, "I'm a big monkey."

I swear it works.

Which foot is the good foot?

It's always a dilemma for me. Let's see - here's one clean sock, but I can't find another one. Ok, I guess I'll have to wear one dirty one too - that's better than two dirty ones right? Which foot gets the clean sock though? I went with the right foot today. ... and unto man was given the gift on inconsequential thought.

My father hates his job. Today I realized,

I don't know what he wanted to be when he grew up.

God hates vegetarians.

You don't believe in God? Well, me neither, but he still hates vegetarians.

Once upon a time there were these two brothers, Cain and Abel. Abel raised sheep. Cain was a farmer. They had a barbeque for God. Abel brought lambchops and Cain brought the potato salad. Cain didn't even cut up the potatoes himself. The potato salad came from Dillons and it wasn't even name brand. No, the cheap-ass slothful Cain offered FMV unto the Lord.(For Maximum Value)

Obviously, "the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell."

Later, because he was jealous, Cain killed Abel. God was pissed. Cain pled insanity. He wasn't in control of his actions because of the amount of wroth that he was going through at that point in his life. God felt sorry for him and didn't go for the death penalty on this one. It also may have had something to do with the fact that there were only three people on earth at this point. Anyways, God sent Cain to timeout in the land of Nod, east of Eden....fooreeevaaar. (insert sandlot imitation)

The other important joke for me is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx but I think it appears originally in Freud's Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious - and it goes like this. I'm paraphrasing. I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member. That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.


We've got solid state technology
Tapes on the floor
Some songs we can't afford to play
When we came here today
All I wanted to say was how much I miss you
Alcohol and cotton balls
And some drugs we can't afford on the way
When we came here today
We all felt something true
Now I'm red-eyed and blue

Well I wish
I was a catfish,
Swimming in, lord,
the deep blue sea.
I'd have ah, you pretty woman,
fishin' after me

QUIXOTIC: the word of the day. It means to set out to do something seemingly pointless, like Don Quixote. I've never heard it pronounced in everyday speech, but I'm quessing it would go something like this, key-ho-tic. This is the example of something quixotic that I came up with this morning.

"I set out on a quixotic journey to find the flattest, barest piece of land still covered with snow. Why? To tramp it, of course. A snow angel to the thousandth degree. I wanted what humans had always wanted, a mark upon the world. I had tried smearing pigment around, on different sorts of flat things, but no one noticed. It was nothing new, people everywhere from the caves of Lascaux to Van Gogh had tried to leave a mark in this way. Painting had become a thirty year old wooden school desk, so full of graffiti, others marks on the world, there was no where left to carve your name.

There were other ways to go. I could have built something large and geometric out of stone, a wall, a henge, perhaps a pyramid. Then people would probably put "the great" in front of whatever I had built. However, these are less feats of expression than feats of persuasion and I am not good at convincing people to do things. I can't convince people help me leave my mark on the world, just because I'm a nice guy. I can't convince people to buy things for more than they're actually worth. So, I don't really have any money either. I guess I only have what humans have always had, an irrational desire and the ability to walk upright.

There were all sorts of complications and plot twists along the way but I did find a place to do this at, acquired snowshoes and all sorts of other things you're wondering if I was going to remember to get. Yes, I did get them. And then, I tramped in letters 50 miles tall a message to the world. It took three or four days for each downstroke and forty-four days total. What was my message to the world? - my name, I wanted to say what everyone wants to say, "Taylor was here."

DUGGLING:

unfortunately the word looks a lot like dung; it has nothing to do with dung or beetles. Duggling is juggling in a downward direction - Bouncing the objects off the floor instead of throwing them in the air. I invented it. Unfortunately I can't juggle, up or down, but I think it's possible in theory.

So, Allan is trying to learn to duggle, to prove to the world that there is an equal and opposite reaction to juggling. So you're saying to yourself "Wow, that's heroic, such dedication to science" - Well, I just want you to know, that's what I was thinking also.

Piero Manzoni, Socle du monde, 1961

my favorite piece of sculpture - ever.

It's french for pedestal for the world. It's genius. It's *Minimalist yet relates to all of these other ideas going on in art. It incorporates its surroundings like a *site-specific piece. It has a sense of humor about art, like *Pop art and *Dada.

It's the wittiest damn cube I've ever seen.


nutshelled art history:

*MINIMALISM - objects are stripped down to their elemental, geometric form, and presented in an impersonal manner. Squares, rectangles, primary colors, all black, all white, etc. Developed as a reaction against and is completely the opposite of Abstract Expressionism -(think not Jackson Pollock slinging paint).

When you see it you think - "I could have made that" or "a machine made it, how is that hard?" It's the idea that's hard. It doesn't matter who actually makes it, it's coming up with the idea. That's minimalism, think it up, send it to a manufacturer, hmm... actually a lot like the way most things we own are made.

*POP ART: think Warhol - soup cans, Marilyn Monroe. Lichtenstein - giant comic strips. Basically it's just like hip hop, only in the art world and about 30 years earlier. take all of this stuff that is everywhere in culture, rework it, and use it to comment about society. Hip hop in its earliest forms commented on urban life, pop art commented on consumerism and celebrity. "how is that art? he didn't even paint it or take the photo" ...ahh but he did come up with the idea for the marketing. He showed us how rediculous some of the things people will buy are.

*DADA: European artists opposed to WWI. It's absurd to sit in trenches and take turns charging each other for 20 yards of ground. Ah, a shovel, I say it is art. Absurd you say? Yes, but that is the point. The world is absurd. think Duchamp

*SITE SPECIFIC - a work that relies on its surroundings to make it work. Examples would be Cristo, a crazy frenchman who wraps buildings, islands and other things in fabric. Others would be, Robert Smithson who built spiral jetty, a giant dirt path swirling out off the bank into this lake.

you have to watch out for the facebook whores - they'll ask anyone to be their friend. The people who have 99 friends listed, but you never really liked them that much. It's ok, you can turn them down. They have 99 other friends.

"he frickin' sim citied this place" *taylor reading and talking to himself

"what do you mean?" *puzzled allan

"umm... he made up his own town. Chopped down trees, made houses and factories, got workers to make stockings and watches." *taylor

"sim city is a verb?" *allan

"yes" *taylor

Voltaire - a lot like Sim City. the end.

well I got my first grade below a "B" - ever.

It was an "F", got a pair of "C's to go with it also.

shit happens, I suppose, I'll have to slack less next semester. (insert rationalization and psychological self defense mechanisms... right about here.)
Anyways, less people would die of stress and heart attacks if they shared my philosophy. "Slide by in the things you don't care about" "and be as good as you can in the things you do care about. It'll all work out in the end."

point one: you can fly radio controlled planes for a living

point two: I also got my first semi-real job ever this semester. Yes, I lucked out. But, I'm getting paid do draw all day.

Like most things that sound really fun, it's less glamorous than it sounds. You try drawing lighters for 7 hours. I must be doing ok though. I get to be a consultant when school starts, and I have a job for the summer locked down.

Hiawatha Christmas. what liberals and city dwellers (usually it's the same thing) are missing out on.

I celebrated baby Jesus's birthday by shooting guns and riding the motorcycle. We weren't the only ones, there were at least 2 other groups of people out at the same time as us shooting, we could hear them in the distance - not hunting, just shooting them at things - wood, dirt piles, pop cans, little clay targets. it's quite a lot of fun.

not just one gun though, four different guns - we own four guns, 2 shotguns, a 30 - 6 deer rifle, a .22 pistol 6 shooter, its very old west; and a SKS which is like a AK 47 only it's not fully automatic. I think it's all hilarious. hoo rah I am such a badass, well except for the whole motorcycle part. that didn't work out well. no serious injury, but my mom thinks its funny to call me gimpy. ahh sarcasm and dark humor I have found thine source.

oh, and check out the gift rundown. dad- knife, tools; brother- knife, tomahawk,and shotgun; me- crock pot,rice cooker,slippers,aretha franklin cd,socks,and underwear. all things I wanted, well except for the crockpot. that was a surprise. yes, its true, my badassery has encreased tenfold.

number of items of camo in our entry-room right now... 10 including the turkey blind.
blaze orange items...5
number of deer skulls...1
chocolate labs...2
the end

things I've learned in the last 3 days.

1. gauze bandages are used for patching wounds because they don't stick to the wounds. paper towels are not used for patching wounds because they do stick to them.

2. motorcycles are dangerous

3. and you can get a job flying toy planes for a living.

there is a guy my dad is friends with who has never had a real job until now. His wife is a nurse and he spends most of his free time building/flying radio controlled planes -slash- being a stay-at-home father. I'll try to make this shorter than the version I heard. He started teaching some class at night school; K-state heard he was good at flying planes; he got paid to consult their engineering team and fly the plane; army hears about him and wants to hire him; he gets a job flying their radio controlled planes that spy/shoot missiles in Iraq - $100,000 a year.

moral of the story - if you're really good at something, you can do whatever the hell you want. (eventually)

well I feel depressed - not so much depressed as apathetic really, honestly world, fuck you. I'm trying to drown my sorrows in High Life, but my head keeps bobbing above water. It's all those damn swimming lesssons my parents made me take.

... My grandmother was friends with the coach from the Arkansas swim team, so, (insert long story), I learned to swim before I could walk.

the end, and I'm going to get more beer.

allan wins another event in the stoner olympics. takes home gold in cooking spicy food from other countries.

avacado gelatto

much better than pistachio

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[_] Oil revenues

[_] Personal check

[_] Credit card

[_] Ransom money

[_] Traveler's check

12. Your occupation:

[_] Homemaker

[_] Sales / marketing

[_] Revolutionary

[_] Clerical

[_] Mercenary

[_] Tyrant

[_] Middle management

[_] Eccentric billionaire

[_] Defense Minister / General

[_] Retired

[_] Student

13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating
on a regular basis:

[_] Golf

[_] Boating / sailing

[_] Sabotage

[_] Running / jogging

[_] Propaganda / misinformation

[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans

[_] Gardening

[_] Crafts

[_] Black market / smuggling

[_] Collectibles / collections

[_] Watching sports on TV

[_] Wines

[_] Interrogation / torture

[_] Household pets

[_] Crushing rebellions

[_] Espionage / reconnaissance

[_] Fashion clothing

[_] Border disputes

[_] Mutually Assured Destruction


Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes! Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department Military, Aerospace Division

dehydrated warning label: a small square sticker with the words, "add one cup water and microwave for 3 minutes. Caution, contents will be fucking hot." written on it.

Late model Dodge Caravans are superb pieces of machinery. They're easy to back into tight spots to load things, because they have big windows in the back and the sides are pretty much straight up and down so it's easy to judge where they are. Turning radius is better than an suv. Great cargo space, it holds a 4X8 ft sheet of plywood, or a bicycle - with both wheels on.

You can't lock your keys in it, it won't let you. If the keys are in the ignition the lock button doesn't work. An awesome feature if you are a space cadet like myself.

And the coup de gras, no one suspects a minivan. You will never get pulled over unless you do something really stupid.

and I actually did ride to soccer practice in it as a kid.

No man is an island, but some islands have pretty interesting cultures, be they a single person or a society as a whole.


The power converter for my laptop cord, it's like a big black rectangular parasite that lives in about the middle of the cord. It has forty different languages printed on the back in tiny gray print that all say "gets hot", and is generally a pain in the ass. I've discovered one useful purpose for it though, a footwarmer.

It's another crazy Saturday night. I'm getting way faded on green tea, and doing layouts for my presentation on Thursday.

By the way, neither "green tea" or "doing layouts" are any sort of drug references. It is actual green tea and I'm drinking it A. because it is warm and I am not; and B. because it has caffeine in it. I am doing layouts, well, because I'm a nerd, and I'm ok with that.

Yes Virginia, you can put Italian dressing on everything.

"no special meatloaf."allan says to the screen

"shut up" taylor responds to whoever suggested the special meatloaf

Fuck orange county, I'm from brown county.

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hurricane candy
standing room only, applause
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build a bridge and get over the river kwai
whistle the digits of pi
climb a beanstalk
sing fe fum fo fi
an astronaut on his tiptoes
coldn't get this high
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Sasha Kaun, sounds a lot like Chaka Khan and I think that's funny. Basket is gooood, by Chaka Khan.
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I want to intern with the Amish, seriously. The process of making things has become so fractured, the labor so divided, that I really have no idea how a lot of things are made. There are processes, textures that you can't get by any automated machine process that are going to become extinct. It's like losing a language, you can't mimic something with a faster process if it is gone completely.

I use the amish as an example, other machine aided craft processes are being lost as well. Jesse James is so amazing to people because, it's something we have forgotten. We no longer take personal responsiblity for the objects we use. what can you say "I made that" about. It doesn't happen, things come pre-packaged, homes for example, look at the suburbs; food - frozen lasagna?; We use objects and throw them away when they break. They function as magic boxes, push the button and it works, with no real idea of what goes on inside.

It's Thanksgiving and I've been hanging out with my family. Here are my conclusions, my brother and sister may be in the same gene pool, but we're definitely doing different strokes. As compared to, Diff'rent Strokes which I only know about because of I love the 80's. From what I can tell, it was about two black kids and a rich white guy. This, however, is about three middle class white kids. A slightly less interesting plot structure, but I'll do my best.

I'm pretty much the least succesful person in my family, and I'm alright with that I guess. My sister is graduating high school this year, the valedictorian, lead in school play, senior of the month, etc. My little brother is in seventh grade and is the quarterback, for the seventh and eighth grade teams (eighth, by the way is a really weird word).

...I played football, by played I mean I weighed 120 lbs and got to run the plays in once in a while. That's what recievers do in middle school football. They recieve information to jog in and tell the quarterback, not brown leathery things with white laces. And as for musical talent and public performance, they pretty much scare the shit out of me.

ah, and that is about that.

robot stocking hat
riveted to la tete
interwoven wool and steel
the kind of thing that could make you feel,
warm inside.

hot hydraulic chocolate capillaries
babbling in binaries
CNC milled baby bibs
Dr. Charles's Babbage patch kids

The way this semester is going, I should buy more hooded sweatshirts. There's just something about it, when you've been up till four am, walking the 4 blocks to class seems really hard, your head is pounding, and a nasty flu is creeping down the back of your throat, the hooded sweatshirt is there for you man. Rock it with a hat to hide the unwashed hair and bleary eyes and some birkenstocks or flip flops if laundry has been falling a little low on your priority list and you don't have any clean socks. No need to put on clean pants, you passed out/slept in the ones you had on yesterday. It'll save time, they already have the wallet, keys and belt in them.

You're Colombia!

You do a lot of drugs, and these have kind of distorted your view of
reality, to the point that everyone looks like an enemy.  You keep trying to restore
order over your schizophrenic world view, but you don't even know which goal is your own
and which is someone else's.  You're pretty sure someone needs to be punished for all
this, but who that is changes all the time.  Things would be a lot better for you if
you switched to coffee, or even to decaf, but all this money would be hard to give up.

Take
the Country Quiz at the href="http://bluepyramid.org">Blue Pyramid

Why Katie is wrong: We should not wipe out all males and start over with a female dominated society, because . . .

"However imperfect society may be, we should measure it against the cruelty and deprivation of the actual past, not the harmony and affluence of an imagined future. We are fortunate to live in a society that more or less works, and our first priority should be not to screw it up. [ . . . ] And since no one is smart enough to predict the behavior of a single human being, let alone millions of them interacting in a society, we should distrust any formula for changing society from the top down, because it is likely to have unintended consequences that are worse than the problems it was designed to fix. " - Steven Pinker, The Blank Slate

His argument is a somewhat better than mine, which was a little more along the lines of "that's a crazy feminist thing to say."

uh, hmm educational, yes, that's how I would describe these
http://www.uky.edu/Projects/Chemcomics/

http://www.ukans.edu/~idea/index2.html - there's a pull down menu at the top you use to navigate

Tom Hanks's Forest Gump accent sounds a lot like a forty year old British Archeologist.

http://www.ukans.edu/~idea/index2.html

His life moved in a series of splitting blurs hinging from one hangover to the next.

That sentence popped into my head and I thought it was a nice sentence so I wrote it down.

Other things that I think are nice:
eating icecream, listening to the Beatles album Abbey road from the track Golden Slumbers on, and dodging pedestrians on my bike, not at the same time though, can't say that I've tried that. The last four tracks of Abbey road are my favorite last four tracks of any album.

Things I don't think are nice:
Diesel fumes from busses, John Edwards closing the vice presidential debate with the fact that Mary Chaney is a lesbian, and going to linguistics hungover. Those three things have also never occured at the same time, thank God. Though, I did try hungover linguistics by itself today, and found that despite the fact that it sounds incredibly promising the night before as far as fun things to do go; it is in fact, not the sort of thing that I like.

Linguistics could be an interesting class. It's just that I've just found that I don't really care how languages work, just as long as they do. It's not really something that is likely to break down for me anytime soon. Automatic transmissions, those are likely to break. Intro to the inner-workings-of automatic-transmissions-istics 114. which meets Monday Wednesday and Friday at 9:30 in room 314 on the third floor of Marvin Hall would be something that I can see myself being more likely to attend if it existed because of its relevence to problems that could occur in my own life *insert gasp for air* and I like to write really long sentences with nonsensical endings, abubabaaa, ba baa?, goodbye.

I am the most unmotivated/motivated person I know, and how that relates to hitchhiking:

It takes me two weeks to do a load of laundry. A couple of hours to actually do it, then it sits in the dryer until someone else needs to do laundry, then it gets moved to the top of the dryer, where it spends another couple of days; I get clothes from the pile as needed. Then it gets moved over to the floor, where I plan on folding it. Then two weeks later in a matter of about ten minutes I fold the clothes. They still haven't all made it back to my room, they're sitting in the basket in the living room. If I didn't have roomates, I would probably store my clothes in a pile on top of the dryer. Pretty unmotivated, eh? I told you so.

Yet, I have walked until my legs gave out, literally failed from exhaustion, twice. The first time I wanted to try and walk for 24 hours and take pictures every hour along the way. I didn't take a map and wandered the backroads of douglass county, ended up past Baldwin, and a cop took me home after 12 hours or so.

Last year I decided that I could run 100 miles in 24 hours. Yeah obviously a dumb idea, but I liked it at the time. No training at all, just went out and tried to do it around the LHS track. I told some people about it and they came out to see me. I had it all planned out, I even brought some peanut butter and bread to make sandwiches for energy. After 25 or so, it takes a lot of convincing to get your feet to move. It wasn't a total failure though, I did make it 40 miles in 12 hours. So I'm sort of motivated sometimes?

The next project is a race. I've wanted to do this for a while; get a group of people and everybody hitchhikes from a point over a 24 hour period, or maybe a weekend. No rides from anyone you know and no payment for rides. I refuse to believe hitchhiking is dead. Whoever gets the furthest wins. plus it'll make for some interesting photos. Well if you read this and you want to enter the race email me. maybe we could get some goofy number things you pin on the front of your shirt too, like a real race.

time lapse video of a drive from LA to NY http://www.lacquersound.com/english/opener1.html

song of the moment: ambulance by tv on the radio
50's doo wop meets indy rock

well, I can see 3 sq. feet of carpet in my room, and that's just because the door has to swing there. the rest is a foot deep layer of random drawings, clothes, some bricks, garden tools, bike parts, and other things. It may be time to clean.

My take on the election? it makes for good cartoons.

Super liberal "yea Kerry" people are annoying as fuck. and Bush is still one dumb motherfucker (watch the debates). But no matter how bad Bush looks, Kerry is still not the first second or third coming of Christ (depending on your particular beliefs).

http://www.piratesandemperors.com/ http://www.jibjab.com/

It's a corderoy pants and hooded sweatshirt day. Really I'd rather it were a lay in bed and pull covers over your head type of day but that's not possible.

I'm failing linguistics. I've never gotten a C in my life and now I'm failing linguistics. My mom majored in linguistics. This is bad. So now you see why I trudged to linguistics in my grey hooded sweatshirt and corderoy pants today. I trudged because I couldn't find my bike lock. stellar absofuckinglutely stellar.

You'd do a lot of drugs too if you had to live on a tour bus

The commander was a wide floundering sort of fellow. By this I mean the lower half of his body resembled a walrus, fins for legs enormous girthy tail - the works. And he had a sort of paralysis in his upper body that kept him from seeing or hearing quite so well. He had only been sucessful after the accident because he recieved no pity from society, as both of these somewhat spectacular handicaps are due to a botched plastic surgery.

He became something of an interstellar Helen Keller, if you will. Spreading the word to all the galaxy that even if you were triply, quadrupuly, or nonagopuly handicapped, in the cases of some species, you still could be sucessful. the trick was after the accident you had blame the cause on some horribly boneheaded manneuver on your part. Taking full responsiblity for your handicap was the only way to fully reintagrate into a society bent of fixing blame.

How to make a number one single

It's a mite chilly outside. I would say perhaps, it's cooler than a cat lickin' antifreeze popsickles.

I have been awake for 40 hours straight. I was in the art building 27 hours out of the 40. I spent 6 more hours at work. So that leaves 7 free hours in a two day period to eat, shower, and get project materials.

"If all people were self-reliant -- a nation of artisans, craftsmen, hunters, trappers, farmers, ranchers -- . . . wealth would be useless." Edward Abbey, Confessions of a Barbarian

In explaining the failure of decades of prohibitionist legislation, former chief of police of the USA, Joseph D McNamara, wrote in National Review...

"It's the money, stupid. After 33 years as a police officer in three of the country's largest cities, that is my message to the righteous politicians who obstinately proclaim that a war on drugs will lead to a drug-free America. About $500 of heroin or cocaine in a source country will bring in as much as $100,000 on the streets of an American city. All the cops, armies, prisons and executions in the world cannot impede a market with that kind of tax-free profit-margin. It is the illegality that permits the obscene mark-up, enriching drug-traffickers, distributors, dealers, crooked cops, lawyers, judges, politicians, bankers, businessmen..." Choking off the supply of narcotics at source isn't a realistic prospect either.

Myles Ambrose, one of President Nixon's closest advisers in the War on Drugs, was scathing in his judgement of some of his fellow drug-warriors...

"...The basic fact that eluded these great geniuses was that it takes only ten square miles of poppy to feed the entire American heroin market, and they grow everywhere...."

A cat told me a tale the other day
I believe it was a manx
a tale of
One hundred percent all beef franks
and a hindu hot dog stand vendor
with wares stamped return to sender

Sometimes I find myself asking, what profession would have the best dental hygiene?

There's the obvious choice, dentists and orthodontists but I don't think they would have the cleanest teeth. If you do something all day, whatever it is, that becomes work to you and you want to get away from it when you're not working. Take for example swimming, swimming is pretty great, but if you're a lifeguard you don't really want to go swimming on your days off. I read somewhere that Cardiologists are more likely to experience heart disease than the average person because they believe it can't happen to them and thus don't take propper preventive measures.

No, I would choose drywall finishers, autobody workers, and cabinet makers. What do they have in common, dusty workspaces, which means they spend a lot of time behind a dust mask. Anyone who spends a lot of time that close to their own breath is highly aware of its quality.

So if you wouldn't describe someone as being hot, or being cool. Would they be lukewarm; tepid maybe.

"Do you ever get the feeling that some people are out there purely for your amusement," somebody once asked me before we got drunk and made out.

Yeah sometimes I get that feeling. Yesterday our neighbor had the road blocked off with little orange soccer cones while he chainsawed this huge dying tree that hung out over the street. He kept running out into the street lugging the chainsaw in one arm, waving with the other, yelling like a madman at the cars running over his sad little cones and driving right under this hanging tree. We just stood there waiting for a car to get crushed.
He goes back to sawing and a police car pulls up. The officer gets out, one hand on his holster and walks towards our neighbor who still doesn't see him. He's so wrapped up in chainsawing that the officer practically has to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention. So then he talks to the cop, still holding this chainsaw and he's kind of agitated because of all the cars just ignoring him. It just looked like a scene from a bad slasher film. Then they get it settled, the cop blocks the street and he goes back to sawing. A couple of minutes later the tree comes crashing down into the middle of the street hits and then bounces. That was the best part, to see something that immense actually bounce.

"the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert" good idea Mr. Johnny Cash.

I had beer for breakfast today, but it was ok. It was Guinness. Calorie wise its basically it's like eating two pieces of toast.

Why do they put babies and animals like bears on the packaging for toilet paper? Neither actually would need to use the product. I would be more impressed if they put an expert on there. You know Wheaties is the breakfast of champions - you put champions on the box. I want high performance toilet paper. Put somebody on there who knows about toilet paper, like that Japanese competitive eater, the one that eats like 60 hotdogs in ten minutes, I would trust his opinion on toilet paper brands.

I am the fastest man in Hiawatha. Ok so I got fourth in the race but the other three weren't from Hiawatha. 19:30 for a 5K, that's under 6:30 a mile. Yesss my training regimen of doing nothing, smoking, and drinking has succeded; I am still fast.

oh dear god the kleptones are amazing. that is all.

reheating a twice-baked potato in the microwave makes it a - thrice-baked potato?

this has absolutely nothing to do with potatoes: http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,62687,00.html

songs you need in your life: all available on kazaa, or I'll make you a cd because they are that good. you need them

John Prine - Sam Stone
Beastie Boys - Intergalactic (disco remix)
Peaches - Fuck the pain away
ELO - Mr Blue sky
Wilco - Red, Eyed, and Blue
Al Green - Love and Happiness
Rolling Stones - Beast of Burden
Van Morrison - And it stoned me
Tom Waits - Chocolate Jesus
Pixies - Gigantic
Bob Schneider - 2002
Billy Joel - Piano man
Nick Drake - Don't think twice (dylan cover)
Pink Floyd - Great gig in the sky
Badly Drawn Boy - Something to talk about
Beatles - Happiness is a warm gun
Cee Lo - Big ole words
Creedence Clearwater Revival - As long as I can see the light
Kinks - Waterloo sunset


. . . eh, feel free to send me a list of songs I need in my life.

Allan should order beef chow mein, aaooo.

it is 2:00 am. I am drunk. Tonight I discovered it is possible to ride a bike even if you are drunk enough to have difficulty holding decent conversation - sorry megan. It would be better if you were drunker, ah not a word but I'm using it none the less. I'm allowed to use drunker because I can coherently use the phrase none the less after this much vodka. goodnight moon.

Wine party? stellar. not stella, that would require a streetcar.

tonight was the culmination of the, who the hell is general tso, and what's in this chicken project. I ate the dish last night at jade garden. Tonight I made some at home from an internet recipe, which took about two and a half hours.

I have to say I did a pretty good job. They're a little different but Allan told me mine was better than the thing he ordered from jade last night. I don't really remember what he ordered and neither can he which part of his problem. It's tough figure out what to get when you can't remember if things are good or not. The other half of his problem is that the thing he ordered "because the name sounds cool" had way too many vegetables.

Timeout on the floor, I just remembered; it was Hunan beef. I always remember that one because it looks like Human beef when you read it on the menu and that throws me a little.

holy shit. maybe this deserves another holy shit, so, holy shit again. The four foot tall cactus I got at walmart last winter for ten dollars is a San Pedro cactus apparently. While San Pedro is pretty impressive as far as names go, what's even more impressive is that it contains mescaline. It's one of only two species to do so, and is also the only legal species.

To make more cactii you cut off 10" chunks of it, then let them set for four weeks or so. After that you just plant them and they grow. Unfortunately they grow really slowly, but multiply quickly once the cuttings get going. Science is fun.

were I a bean
with religious beliefs
hell would have to be
burrito king

Stealing and Ballpoint pens:

The U-Locks that people lock their bikes with can be easily picked with a ballpoint pen. You take the pen tip and ink resevoir part out of the end and then shove that end into the lock. The plastic bends into the shape of the lock and you can turn it and open the lock. My friend who works at the bike shop told me they tried it and it worked. Of course you could steal the ballpoint pen too. Stealing pens is ok, stealing bikes with those pens is not.

I think karmatically though I am entitled to a bike since one of mine did get stolen. I tried to take a lime green road bike this summer but then Kent got busted on campus for it. That's a whole other story.

Stealing and Karma.

I think it's ok to pick up a nalgene, ballpoint pen or other similar object that gets left in class. It's karma; I know I've lost more things than I've picked up. Someone has to be using the objects I lost. So if I use the ones I find, everything works out. I haven't bought a pen in three years (excluding art supplies).

backstreet boys trivia game, nsync phone and computer game combo, brightly colored waterballoons, gold aviators, a pink and lavendar motorcycle sound handlebar attachment, were this a price is right showcase I would jump wildly because that's pretty standard procedure for contestants then come on down. after careful consideration and consultation through ridiculous incoherent shouting with friends, relatives, complete strangers who are seated as far from the stage as possible, I would place a bid of one hundred seventy eight dollars. But, this isn't a price is right showcase, they're my birthday presents. Cates, Megan, Rachel and Liz are also not a price is right showcase; they're my heroes. the end.

well turns out you can find a stump at 7:00 pm on a friday night. I found one in the woods near a parking lot. why?

stump is a game, a game that requires a stump. so you put a nail in for each person playing. then take turns flipping the hammer one full rotation up into the air, catching it and then trying to hit someone else's nail. if successful, the person whose nail you hit has to drink a portion of beer equal to the percentage of nail driven into the stump. if it is hit in halfway that's half of the beer. it works better when participants wear shoes and actually play the game. lastly, all that is known about stump is that it comes from vermont.

most of the opportunities you'll have are hit-or-miss


but that's duckhunt for you

today I had the craziest 5 to 7 pm that I can remember. this guy rolls up to the door in a white shirt/tie with 5 gold teeth on the bottom. He's from the inner city in Florida somewhere and selling magazines, those are the parts of the conversation I could understand. but I think that was the entertaining part. and he's yelling at the sorority girls parking their cars near our house, "damn girl," followed by stuff I don't understand, also entertaining. so I look at the magazines and decide to buy 2 years of bicycling for no reason at all. I really only have $150 to my name right now and no job, but whatever, minor detail. anyways after this kent comes home and he talks him into another 40 worth of magazines. then somehow we get around to talking about pot and he asks if we have any cigars. no, well ya'll want to go with me to get some... bla bla what else do you do for fun around here? party, yeah we're having one friday its my 21st birthday. no shit, well I'll buy you a six pack. so we finish buying the magazines and he(andre) and kent go to the convenience store where gets the six pack and a couple of peach flavored cigars. then on the way back we spot one of his coworkers and he joins the party. so we go to the garage and they roll up two peach blunts and we smoke those down. his friend is from new york apparently and they just travel all over with this urban opportunity type program hitting people up for magazines. they had great stories about people with a jaguar in the driveway who would tell them "they can't buy any because they're broke" then literally seconds later their wife and daughter would drive up in two matching H2 hummers. they had stories about when they sold to the kennedy's, various football players, and espn anchors. then kent loaded another bowl, and we talked about music. Andre from florida and probably the blackest person I've ever met was a fan of KISS. so after a beer, two blunts, and a bowl of KB andre needs to borrow visine because he's planning to go out and sell more magazines, good luck buddy. and then they left. what a godamn surreal afternoon. they sure beat the mormons.

I've had four people tell me I look like napolean dynamite this week. I didn't realize the marketing buzz behind this movie was so large, but it is an mtv production so that figures. I guess if I had tv...

I don't miss it. this week I've gone running, played basketball, frisbee, rode my bike, played my guitar. all because I was bored. this never would have happened last year when I had tv.

pot is less addictive than tv, I could have smoked any time I wanted and did, yet I did all of these productive things too. I would challenge most people to compare hours wasted during the week between an average smoker and an average television viewer.

the KU drinking club, I'm starting it. You recreationally or competitively drink various liquids. For example you could have the 500 mL syrup competition or the 1600 mL milk chug both of which would be more endurance oriented events, while an event like the 500 mL water event would be geared more towards sprinters.

I only consider myself handicapped when searching for a parking spot, said the man with no legs.

which reminds me of something my dad always told me, " I see, said the blind man to his deaf dog. who stuck his wooden paw out the window to see if it was raining."

"you guys could afford cable if you didn't smoke so much" - megan
"mumbling...yeah probably, but I think this is less addictive" - taylor and allan

allan is my friend. his blog is cool. go there. http://allanfieldhouse.blogspot.com/

Pyramid scheme academia - So let me get this straight, if I major in something completely useless yet fun, and learn enough about it. I can get a job teaching other people this completely useless knowledge. When the next generation graduates they have no other choice but to become teachers too, and the cycle repeats itself. As long as the population keeps growing everyone gets jobs. hmm

do people with IV's in get hungry?

other military/chicken related people: Colonel Sanders. Who wasn't a real colonel, but was pretty famous anyways. the first KFC franchise was in Utah.
"In 1976, an independent survey ranked the Colonel as the world's second most recognizable celebrity. "

:from kfc.com
Colonel Harland Sanders, born September 9, 1890, actively began franchising his chicken business at the age of 65. Now, the KFC® business he started has grown to be one of the largest quick service food service systems in the world. And Colonel Sanders, a quick service restaurant pioneer, has become a symbol of entrepreneurial spirit.
More than a billion of the Colonel's "finger lickin' good" chicken dinners are served annually. And not just in North America. The Colonel's cooking is available in more than 80 countries and territories around the world.
When the Colonel was six, his father died. His mother was forced to go to work, and young Harland had to take care of his three-year-old brother and baby sister. This meant doing much of the family cooking. By the age of seven, he was a master of several regional dishes.
At age 10, he got his first job working on a nearby farm for $2 a month. When he was 12, his mother remarried and he left his home near Henryville, Ind., for a job on a farm in Greenwood, Ind. He held a series of jobs over the next few years, first as a 15-year-old streetcar conductor in New Albany, Ind., and then as a 16-year-old private, soldiering for six months in Cuba.
After that he was a railroad fireman, studied law by correspondence, practiced in justice of the peace courts, sold insurance, operated an Ohio River steamboat ferry, sold tires, and operated service stations. When he was 40, the Colonel began cooking for hungry travelers who stopped at his service station in Corbin, Ky. He didn't have a restaurant then, but served folks on his own dining table in the living quarters of his service station.
As more people started coming just for food, he moved across the street to a motel and restaurant that seated 142 people. Over the next nine years, he perfected his secret blend of 11 herbs and spices and the basic cooking technique that is still used today.
Sander's fame grew. Governor Ruby Laffoon made him a Kentucky Colonel in 1935 in recognition of his contributions to the state's cuisine. And in 1939, his establishment was first listed in Duncan Hines' "Adventures in Good Eating."
In the early 1950s a new interstate highway was planned to bypass the town of Corbin. Seeing an end to his business, the Colonel auctioned off his operations. After paying his bills, he was reduced to living on his $105 Social Security checks.
Confident of the quality of his fried chicken, the Colonel devoted himself to the chicken franchising business that he started in 1952. He traveled across the country by car from restaurant to restaurant, cooking batches of chicken for restaurant owners and their employees. If the reaction was favorable, he entered into a handshake agreement on a deal that stipulated a payment to him of a nickel for each chicken the restaurant sold. By 1964, Colonel Sanders had more than 600 franchised outlets for his chicken in the United States and Canada. That year, he sold his interest in the U.S. company for $2 million to a group of investors including John Y. Brown Jr., who later was governor of Kentucky from 1980 to 1984. The Colonel remained a public spokesman for the company. In 1976, an independent survey ranked the Colonel as the world's second most recognizable celebrity.
Under the new owners, Kentucky Fried Chicken Corporation grew rapidly. It went public on March 17, 1966, and was listed on the New York Stock Exchange on January 16, 1969. More than 3,500 franchised and company-owned restaurants were in worldwide operation when Heublein Inc. acquired KFC Corporation on July 8, 1971, for $285 million.
Kentucky Fried Chicken became a subsidiary of R.J. Reynolds Industries, Inc. (now RJR Nabisco, Inc.), when Heublein Inc. was acquired by Reynolds in 1982. KFC was acquired in October 1986 from RJR Nabisco, Inc. by PepsiCo, Inc., for approximately $840 million.
In January 1997, PepsiCo, Inc. announced the spin-off of its quick service restaurants -- KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut -- into an independent restaurant company, Tricon Global Restaurants, Inc. In May 2002, the company announced it received shareholders' approval to change it's corporation name to Yum! Brands, Inc. The company, which owns A&W All-American Food Restaurants, KFC, Long John Silvers, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell restaurants, is the world's largest restaurant company in terms of system units with nearly 32,500 in more than 100 countries and territories.
Until he was fatally stricken with leukemia in 1980 at the age of 90, the Colonel traveled 250,000 miles a year visiting the KFC restaurants around the world.
And it all began with a 65-year-old gentleman who used his $105 Social Security check to start a business.

who the hell is this General Tso person and what does he have to do with chicken? Well nothing actually according to The Harper Encyclopedia of Military Biography, but he did fight most of his battles while suffering from dysentary if that counts for anything. The chicken was invented in NYC by a guy named Chef Peng. Chinese food in New York was different in the early '70s; while there were a quite a few Chinese restaurants around, they were all Cantonese. Bland food, served in a decor straight out of the 1950's (think: Too much RED).

Around 1974, Hunan and Szechuan food were introduced to the city, and General Tso's Chicken was an exemplar of the new style. Peng's, on East 44th Street, was the first restaurant in NYC to serve it, and since the dish (and cuisine) were new, Chef Peng was able to make it a House Specialty, in spite of its commonplace ingredients.

What exactly is in the chicken? fried boneless dark-meat chicken (leg), served with vegetables and whole dried red peppers in a sweet-spicy sauce

all about gen. Tso:
TSO T'sung-t'ang (1812-1885). Chinese statesman and general. Principal wars: Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864); Nien Rebellion (1851-1868); Muslim Rebellion (1867-1873); conquest of Sinkiang (1874-1878).
Born in Hunan to a gentry family (1812); received a classical Confucian education and gained his doctoral degree (c. 1840); embarked on a successful career as a scholar-administrator, he was sent to join Tseng Kuo-fan's Hunan army to fight against the Taipings (1853); a general by 1860, he was given a semi-independent command, and enjoyed considerable success; appointed governor of Chekiang province, then largely in Taiping control, he was charged with restoring it to Imperial rule (1862); he set about his task with energy and efficiency, and soon drove out the Taiping (1864); in the meantime, he had been appointed viceroy of Chekiang and Fukien provinces (1863); he founded a modern arsenal and dockyard at Foochow; ennobled as a marquis (1866); appointed viceroy of Shensi and Kansu provinces in northwest China (1867) and ordered to suppress the Muslim rebels in those areas; before he could begin this task, he was sent to help in final operations against the Nien rebels (1867 - August 1868); he organized local forces as his mentor Tsung Kuo-fan had done in Hunan (autumn 1868); creating an efficient system of logistical support, he moved against the Muslim rebels and suppressed them in five years of vigorous activity (1868-1873); the successful conclusion of these operations left his troops near Sinkiang, occupied by rebellious Turkic tribes; a bitter debate ensued in the government between the supporters of Li Hung-chang, who favored creation of a modern navy and a maritime policy, and the supporters of Tso, who favored the recovery of Sinkiang and the expulsion of the Russians from the Ili Valley; Tso's allies won (April 1875); after considerable planning he launched his offensive (March 1876); often operating as far as three months' march from his nearest base, he subdued the Turkic tribesmen, defeated their leader, Yakub Beg (May 1877), and reestablished Chinese control of Sinkiang as far as the Ili (1878); this success enabled the Chinese to negotiate the recovery of most of the valley (1881); appointed governor-general of Liang Kiang (1882); during the Sino-French War (1883-1885) he was appointed a grand secretary of state (1884); died in Foochow (September 5, 1885).
An intelligent and able scholar-administrator, Tso was particularly gifted as a logistical planner; his long-distance campaigns in northwest China and Sinkiang compare favorably with contemporary operations of European armies; equally remarkable was his unusual stamina, for most of these operations were carried out while he suffered from recurring bouts of malaria and dysentery; with Li Hung-chang and Tseng, a founding member of the Self-Strengthening Movement.

ah, good to know.

Anyone who doubts that man is one of the animals has never lived with a group of eight year olds. It's entertaining.

The tricks to dealing with children are apathy and encouraging self reliance. yeah sure you can swing from the rafters, just don't hurt yourself. can I pee off the top of this tree, go for it dude. you really can't make them do what you want, so give up. let them do whatever they want as long as its not going to hurt them too badly. next point, self reliance=less work for me. where are you going to sleep tonight, you better set up your tent. will you open this ketchup packet for me, no if you were really hungry you'd get it open. so they learn and and you don't have to do stupid things like open ketchup packets for people. you give them a list, then let them pack their own backpacks. If they pack weird stupid heavy stuff like their whole shower kit and a harry potter book for a 4 hr hike, then they have to carry it and they don't do it the next time. and in conclusion I just got a thankyou card from one of my kids and his parents with a check for 75 bucks in it, yes I am that good.

would peanut butter, cheddar cheese, hotdogs and avacados taste good together? my research has been inconclusive. They're not too bad, not too good either.

first century christians got stoned all the time...



pesky romans and jews.

so I was thinking about musicians that have gone downhill and I feel strongly that james brown is more james brown than michael jackson is michael jackson.

worst library experience ever. I got stoned and went to the art n arch library to do research for drawing class. found some awesome books, was all excited and went to check out and they told me I had a $ 378 fine. I thought they were kidding, I didn't even know that was possible. turns out I had 5 really overdue books that they had declared lost and were charging me to replace. Lost my ass, they were sitting on my desk. so I took them back and now I owe $50. but that's $50 in late fees from last year that I haven't had to pay yet. so I don't think I have to pay anything; computers are screwy.

buckle your seat belt
hide your fur bearing animals
french trappers are here about
plaid died pomeranian pelt
perfect for the fashion conscious celt

more about the OC. fuck I like the music too it's obviously placed too. oh ryan don't you just love rooney insert kiss by marissa cooper. hmm I'll get beautiful tv star girlfriends if I like rooney too. oh and lets mention their name at least five times in the show and go to a concert where they play. ok so I don't like rooney and I had heard of them much before but other stuff is good.

death cab for cutie who seth is in love with is fucking great. so if I show selectivity is then ok to like it? oh fuck it I can like whatever the fuck I want. I'm an intelligent person with a large vocabulary. I can choose whatever the fuck I want. I downloaded the starburst song where they whistle and stuff blows up around them.

my life should be more dramatic. maybe some theme music would help.

all the world is a stage, and we are but merely players in it... or something to that effect. Shakespear. Live your life as if it were a tv show starring you (paraphrased) Warhol. I don't know about shakespear but warhol did all right success wise. Maybe this is the trick.

we all need to write screenplays for our lives.

you lay out your main characters at the start of this continuom where they are and what they are about. laying it out occasionally could be effective. it is like a sketch for a painting, you lay out where you want the final to be and it's more successful.

because its very hard to paint spontaneously unless you're bob ross, or an abstract expressionist, then you're probably drunk and depressed and those are rather unnatractive character traits unless of course you want to be an abs ex but that market is 30 or so years out of vogue and. so let's rule their opinions out of the question at the moment.

insert personal contradiction, I define myself as spontaneous so maybe my personality is random at times, but I define myself as spontaneous so I'm spontaneous a predefined amount of time. because you really mustn't be spontaneous about your levels of spontaneousity; it throws people off, which can be quite annoying. As can misspelling words and a spur of consciousness/conversational writing style. and hey you know what else is annoying crab's legs, that sums it up exactly, crabs legs are expensive if you live in Kansas or so I hear and a pain in the ass to eat, this by comparison is free and would move relatively well through the digestive system if printed out on standart office paper and is completely undetectable to all urine tests, least that's what my dealer tells me anyways. free of course until someone decides to pay me for it. I then will sell out like all good creative and talented people. I have never eaten at red lobster, my parents are currently on at least a 20 yr boycott. # of times I've eaten at various resteraunts in my lifetime: KFC 3, Taco Johns 0, Red Lobster 0, Chik filet 0, Subarro 0, Chuckie cheese 1, and thats it for now. next question please.

the ten commandments of taylor. really they're more guidelines. but commandments that's so much more dignified and imposing. 1. neverleave permanent record of drunken thoughts until the next day.
t.b.c

the oc is hurting my grades. we downloaded them all and I've been watching them, tv shows are way better when you can watch them back back
yes it is completely pop, a cold hearted corporate shot at the most profitable market segment. but damn it. it's interesting to watch. yes it is unbelievable, of course the're all in high school, and their parents look more like brothers or sisters. and there is that striking resemblance to daytime television plot structure. but it floats my flotilla of canoes. and like most things it makes me think.

oh fuck its 2:12 am, I'm drunk and, I have class at 8:30
kay sera seraa

memorex should have a promotional deal where when you send in so many upc codes off of cd spindles you get a free eyepatch, the official swash belt buckle, and and your very own genuine imitation peg leg. And in conclusion, I'd like to leave you with one final note, I'm rick james bitch.

so in The Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy and her posse enter emerald city they see a "horse of a different color" one that changes color every 30 seconds or so. Do you think they filmed the horse up against a green screen?

...


(ok so if you didn't get it emerald city is completely green)

The gangsta nation song by westside connection and nate dogg is stolen. The whole back beat melody thing is borrowed from a crosby stills and nash song, Chicago. that being said. It is pretty catchy for being a completely sterotypical rap song. where's the creativity, the title is gangsta nation, and yes it is spelled like that.

what's the plural of penis, is it penii

Pornstars in History, a follow up to Helen Keller: this week, Adolf Hitler
adolf hitlers penis. yes, adolf hitlers penis. you're picturing him naked; weird huh. It's a little known fact that adolf hitler set off the trend towards males shaving their netherlands. He had his pubic hair cut to match his mustache because he thought it lent a visual continuity to his aging pale naked body (you're picturing it again ha ha)

there are times in every man's life
when he must rock the birkenstocks
usually when that man
runs out of socks

death of spartacous the transexual dancing hippo

hippo hip replacement surgery
infection is unlikely, thanks to the antibiotical slurry
an intrevenous pot pourri
that swims through the veins and stimulates
a white blood cell flurry

how'd it happen let me tell ya'
flashback to a crossdressed scene as cinderella
insert a synaptic cd skip in tha cerebella
6,782 pounds of sequined pink fell and ah

timbers splintered
and the hip which was
osteoporosis rendered
geriatrically really really unlimber
exploded in bone fragment fourth of july splendor

(more to come)

how many people are sane purely out of the strength of their own self delusions and innability to see themselves as they really are

how many friends do we make out of pure convenience? and how much free will do we actually exercize in choosing who to associate with?

washing/ having "clean" vs. relatively clean clothes is like that suave shampoo commercial. If you can't tell then why should I? recycling its a beautiful thing
stop reading now if you don't like underwear economics and calculus

If you assume that underwear and socks aren't recyclable then you are limited only by the number of pairs of underwear you have. And at some point it is cheaper to buy more underwear than it is to do laundry. if underwear costs x dollars per pair, and laundry costs $1.50 a load on average in fixed costs and you figure in an hours worth of your labor, then laundry costs you 7.50/week, if you only have enough underwear for 1 week. If you took some of that 7.50 and invested in more underwear you could go longer and would yield savings in the long run. Just imagine, 4 weeks worth of underwear, and assuming that all still fits into 1 load, then your monthly laundry expenses are quartered. A last consideration is the lifespan of the underwear and I'm sure there's some sort of calculus equation to figure this out, but I'm lazy. And laziness has nothing to do with not doing laundry, as we already proved that's fuckin' economics.

dissorganization breeds creativity; it's really the same thing. Put things together in ways that people don't expect. ~ this profound thought was brought to you by the number seven, the letter b, and the fact that I found a plate in my dresser drawer this morning.

A direct quote from my only valentine this year: "Dear, sweet Taylor! You are like a butterfly that has flown into my heart, causing it to fluctuate with your every gentle flutter. Each time I gaze at your wild, untamed mop of hair my nipples begin to salivate with unquenchable desire! Yet whenever I am near you these unwarranted sensations leave me powerless to declare my intense craving for you. Why must you affect me so? Make yourself known to me!" dude whoever you are you're officially my hero because that's freakin' hilarious.

altoids
huh unh huh unh
check out my deltoids
ok I'm not fiddy cent
but I sure am
curious strong like the mint

-a prevalentine poem, love me.

oh and if you don't know me its funny because I don't really know where exactly the deltoid is but I'm pretty sure I don't have any. and I have mad rhyme skills, kind of like tony danza

I hate my roomate so much I'm considering pretending to be gay to offend is conservative religious morals in hopes that he will move out. I don't think I've ever hated anyone for just being themselves before, but he, yep, passes that test.

if only female nudity was considered humorous, the world would be such a better place

according to my research, if you point a camera at the average male, 3 out of 5 will try to show you their nipples.

the world was not meant to slide by at 30 miles
per hour behind the blinders of tinted windows.

is it physically possible for one to be higher than an astronaut on a stepladder? if so could we integrate this into the physics curriculum maybe as some sort of lab.

fuckin' wine, box or bottle, makes you want to make-out with the world

how do eyepatched pirates post e-smiles? P ) or maybe .)

was sgt. pepper's lonely heart club band lonely because they were in a band, OR did they form the band because they were lonely? Did the strain of constant touring prevent them from having meaningful relationships? OR were they lonely before and form a band to as a method to pick up chicks?

it's 2004 the present is now

snuffleupugus snufflupugus
they like humus;
it slides down the trunk without the slightest o' funk,
because then they might end up with a callous

the real robinson crusoe had sex with goats... hoorah for survival skills and the discovery channel

if human beings had been meant to click their heels together, they would have been born with castanets attached to them. -and the reason there are so many posts for today is because I've been saving them up for twenty years.

what if helen keller was in a porno

A fountain of hawaiian punch is illogical.

the drain pipes on normal water fountains are some of the blackest most fungus encrusted pipes you'll find due to all the goobers that come out of human saliva. I would know, I do maintenance work. So if we take the same goobers and give them something great to eat like the hella amounts of sugar found in hawaiian punch the pipes will need to be bleached every other day to keep the fungus down.

If there is a grain of truth in everything then maybe these are the units we should be measuring truth by.

And therefore whole wheat bread is the only moral choice for carbohydrates.

For the european democracies whose royalty now function as figureheads is is ironic or maybe socially telling if said royalty undergo plastic surgery?

origins. the origins of this great manifesto have their humble beginnings in a paper tacked to a door, in the spirit of the martin luthers, the galileos, the che gueveras, of course those rapscallions and all around guerilla radio pioneer dudes, mr morello, mr de la rocha and whatever the hell the other two guys names are. aka r.a.t.m.

ok I hate to burst the bubble of public image but rage is not quite in the same league as those other guys, but I of course am. and it was really fastened up there with scotch tape, but tacked -- it just sounds so much more forcefull, rebellious, oo just gives you chills the primal agressiveness of the word, eh. tacked. so forgive my artistic license, tacks don't work well on solid steel fire safety doors and its probably against housing policy or something anyways. Maybe a dagger that’s theatric, a bit swashbuckling though.

So this heres the prequel, oh and yeah, a la gorgeous georges lucas I of course had all of this written before my first trilogy and of course am not scraping the bucket on the bottom of my wells of creativity. Sludging up from its parched depths halfassed uncreative disneyfied pieces of shit to throw marketing and special effects dollars at in hopes of blockbuster salvation. And my special effects budget is low, so you’ll have to settle for handdrawn stuff I made on stolen copy paper with a pen I got for free from the peace corps. Dollars spent 0, priceless. Yeah I’d say it was really more of a remix, you know stuff I already wrote, re released so you can buy it again, because once again I’m either A. lazy or B. really an uncreative bastard who got lucky and needs to ride that damn cash train into the ground. hmm… linkin park…and a whole buncha hip hop…heres the remix to lesbian rainforest destruction…hot and fresh out tha kitchen… yep that was cheesy.

Anyways: here's the first and second issues, and their responses from my housing director

"Lesbians are responsible for the destruction of the rainforest."

apparently this requires some explanation, but the logic is flawless. Ok so the more "butch" if you will lesbians are often known to wear flannel. This fashion trend most likely stems from the traditional garb of the logging industry. Therefore they must have contacts with aforementioned industry.

As freud theorized, they may also envy the penis, and on a subconscious level feel cheated and have a desire to destroy phallic symbols. Trees are clearly one of the more prominent phallic symbols found in nature/everywhere, standing tall, erect, towering over the smaller flora like bushes. Also, one of the more common slang terms for the penis, Wood, or woody, clearly is derived from the tree. The largest, most dense, collections of trees are found in rainforests.

And so, I feel, due to their undeniable ties to the logging industry and phallicatory defiling motivation, you can come to no other conclusion but that Rosie O'Donnel is the head of an secretive (isn't it obvious from her magazine dealings that she is eager to uphold her spotless public image) international logging syndicate hell bent on ridding the world of trees.

The precedent is clear. Rosie tried to rid the world of guns, which is also a common phallic symbol - "here is my rifle. here is my gun" if you don't get the refrence, just quit reading and go watch more tv (you uncultured swine you.)

And in this galaxy far far, ok, so right here A shrowded Martha Stewart lurks in the deeply cast shadows of a corner (of federal pound me in the ass prison), controlling the galaxy. Ok I'm just going to come out with it, if the destruction of the rainforest were star wars, martha would be the emperor, albeit a bit more satanlike and scary due to her mass media powers. That would make rosie is darth vader, that weasing sound, shwooop puuh . . schwoop puuh, is her catching her breath. And of course all battles in this movie are fought with jedi hairpulling and bitch slapping, because blasters and lightsabers are... all together now class, phallic symbols.

SO IN CONCLUSION: this arguement is about as airtight as a russian submarine and you should just nod your head and agree with me.

Oops:

Battenfeld Residents,
Tonight while walking into the second floor lobby, I found a two page paper titled “rainforst1” posted on the inside of the door leading to the main stairwells. The content of the paper is very disturbing. The author of this paper obviously has some serious homophobic issues. The thesis statement of the paper is that “Lesbians are responsible for the destruction of rainforest.” The fact that, this individual has posted this paper on both floors (2 &3) is unacceptable action by myself as a director of the hall and I am very confidant that most of you agree with me.
I just want to tell the individual who did that, he needs to think about the difference between funny and offensive and recognize these two concepts DO NOT mix in Battenfeld. Finally to this individual, I say you need to grow up and open up your mind, otherwise do not be posting your twisted ideas in our hall and keep it to yourself.

Regards,

Mowafiq Al-Anazi
Director, Battenfeld scholarship hall



RE: rainforestl


So yeah, definitely a joke, and apparently not funny, if you don’t read past the well crafted thesis statement to the star wars references. And really there’s no need for name calling, I am not a homophobe. I am comfortable enough with the subject to make a joke about it. And if anyone has a legitimate complaint ask around, you’ll find me, and I will apologize profusely, and admit begrudgingly that ‘I suck at life’ – man I was on so many drugs that night whoah

That being said: I think cheetos are responsible for the current unrest in the middle east.
Insert collective WTF mate and lets continue.

It is a little known fact that camels looove cheetos. Do camels love cheetos, the question is almost rhetorical, of course they do. It’s a biologically adaptive behavior. When you’re in heat, not in the female dog sense, more the hot kind, the body sweats. It loses water and electrolytes, saw that in a Gatorade commercial once. Anyways, electrolytes are basically salt. So on a tangent, Gatorade is a sham. It contains salt which makes you more thirsty, so you drink more of their product, those bastard corporate lackeys. Right, so camels crave salt, which cheetos are naturally high in and of course they eat the cheetos. Those little orange powdery things are like cocaine in the camel world, or maybe tobacco is a better example. So frito lay puts out this add campaign and . . . targets camildren (camel children) and they all get hooked on the orange goodness. And then there’s all these CBI agents after the orange goodness, ok I’ll stop.

There’s one fundamental problem with camels eating cheetos – their basic inability to lick the orange goodness from their toes and toe crotches (spaces inbetween the toes). Sure they can paw the bags open and eat the cheetos, but the best part, the gooey orangish paste, ok it does have some sand in it but it’s up to camel standards, sits on their feet. Man you can’t imagine the emotional pain and suffering this causes, they should sue, damn frito lay.

Their basic frustration leads them to be mean and completely lacking in chrismas cheer year round. Proof: they spit, lots, who spits when they’re happy, not me. This lack of cheer spreads to the owners and up the food chain and pretty soon, nobody gets along.

And so you have it, just nod and agree another argument airtight like a Russian sub.
And if you call me a racist I’m going to be seriously disappointed in mankind in general

I hereby solemnly swear to never offend anyone, renounce my constitutional rights, and never utter any speech that could be considered by anyone anywhere to be politically incorrect.

OK Guys,
I thought the e-mail I sent last night would be taken as an educational lesson, but some of us seem not to understand the point was posting such an offensive writing is against the University and Housing policies. I f I know who did this action I would not hasitate of writing him up. the goal of the e-mail was to serve as a warrning and as a reminder to all of us, as we are in college to have fun, also we are here to learn respect in the same time. regardless the fact that, B-feld is a male building, it is no excuss to become a women basher. The last thing I want Battenfeld to be known of as sexiest hall, I am sure that will make girls think highly of you guys !!!!!!
enough said, If you want to talk about this topic, please call me or stop by my apartment anytime.
thanks guys.

Mowafiq